Hey Culture Shock,
I am in high school and my friend of 3 years and boyfriend
of 1 year decided to break up with me the day after our anniversary. After breaking up with me he decided to tell
everyone the reason was because he just didn’t have feelings for me anymore,
which I thought was odd considering he told me something a bit different over
the phone. A week later, I found out he
went on a date with his ex-gf and I also found out he has a class with her this
year and didn’t even tell me. My real
question stems from the fact that his friend asked me to hang out with him (a
date originally) and come to find out unlike my ex we have A LOT in common
(purity rings, our beliefs in God, family background, etc.). Is it against some sort of gender or moral
code to date your exes friend (even if we are more compatible and your ex has
dumped you)? Please help!
Dumped & Confused
Hey Dumped & Confused,
ReplyDeleteWhen considering the latter half of your letter ONLY, Id say under normal circumstances there could be issues when attempting to date an exes friend (i.e. being deemed a homie hopper, looking spiteful, ruining friendships, etc.) Also, I am not a guy but I do believe it may be a guy code against such things considering I KNOW FOR A FACT there is a girl code against this (found in Book1 Chapter 1 Page 1 Paragraph 1, to be exact).
However, given the situation at hand, I'd say there has got to be a clause/addendum for when your boyfriend cheats or dumps you. I think it is cruddy that he broke up with you after an anniversary and that he lied or left out the not so minor detail that his ex and him were still friends or in a class. Relationships built on lies are destined to fail. Your prior friendship should have told you everything you needed to know about him, so if I was you, I would look back into how he treated girls before (when you were friends) and use that as a lesson when you become friends with another person of the opposite sex in the future. In my experience, men will tell you everything you need to know about them including how they will treat you within the first week...this could be partly female intuition and partly because God gives you a certain ability to discern and its up to you to take off the rose colored glasses and trust the signs!
We love and support you and your decisions and thank you for trusting us with your LIFE boo! Hope this helps:)
#KaySayWhaaat #CultureShockTeam
Due to the fact that you are soooooo Young lol (high school age) there is guy code but not straight moral code. Honestly if he makes you happy and is really about something then that's fine. However, make sure that purity ring is really pure because I would hate to see you get tricked by someone because more than likely he has talked to your ex about you before and found out private information and now wants to see if its true. Just be careful with your heart and your mind and your body.... besides that do what makes you happy just don't be led on by non-sensless.
ReplyDeleteI say go for it. He is a fool if he thought karma was on his side. You don't lie and then think your friends aint looking at you like dooogggg if I had a chance.
ReplyDeleteDumped and Confused,
ReplyDeleteThere is a guy code to this. Be care and weary of a man who is not loyal to his FRIEND. Men by nature are more loyal to a friend than a girlfriend (marriage is different). So unless he has talked to his friend about this, it is NOT ok. It says a lot about how loyal he will be to YOU. Having things in common doesn't force a man to be loyal. We start with the code! If we can't keep our own code, then how can we be trusted?